I’m Nobody! Who are you?
“I lied to people for my job
Not once or twice but frequently,
And since dismissed now do hobnob
With stars and starlets on TV
As I build my celebrity.
“My boss, he was a lyin’ man,
But I was paid to serve his will
And screw the country—I fed an
Abominable, unregenerate swill
To people who applaud me still.
“I told my lies with clumsy charm,
Pretending yourself genuine’s
No easy task—and with alarm
Sometimes I even had to wince,
But I’ve learnt not to stress it since.
“I’ll let you in upon the lie—
In fact that’s just the thing you do
When (Kimmel, Colbert standing by)
You have me on your TV shew,
And it’s yourselves you only screw.
“I ought to hang my head in shame,
But you celebrity-obsessed
Cling recklessly to any Name
Just like an infant at the breast—
But this teat’s poison is no jest.
“I’m nobody—neither are you—
But we’ve both had a really fine shew.”
Note: The British “shew” is traditionally pronounced as the American “show” but here I use the British spelling to indicate a pronunciation akin to that of TV pioneer Ed Sullivan’s famous tag line.