When the Republic's Fall Is Wrote

​He brought dishonor to the land,
    The Guardian of Gridlock,
And what he did, did underhand,
    The Guardian of Gridlock:
To shaft the poor, and serve the rich
He hacked and hewed, and carved a niche,
Whose ignominious name was Mitch,
    The Guardian of Gridlock.

As Guarantor of Greed we name
    Senator Mitch McConnell,
Gross graft, a grifter without shame,
    Senator Mitch McConnell,
Who did his utmost to obstruct
In legislating usufruct,
No matter whom his tactics fucked,
    Senator Mitch McConnell.

Greed’s Guardian and Guarantor
    This grandee from Kentucky,
Whose modus was to hem and hor,
    So handy in Kentucky:
First whittling out a little hole
Then greater liberties he stole
Till killing the Republic whole,
    This dandy of Kentucky.

Historians take somber note
    That it was Mitch McConnell
When the Republic’s fall is wrote,
    Senator Mitch McConnell,
Who planned and pulled the crafty coup
(Dear citizens, et tu! et tu!)
Whereby democracy he slew— 
    The ruffian Mitch McConnell.