If I were fire, I would set the world aflame;
If I were wind, I would storm it;
If I were water, I would drown it;
If I were God, I would send it to the abyss.
If I were Pope, then I would be happy,
For I would swindle all the Christians;
If I were Emperor, do you know what I would do?
I would chop off heads all around.
If I were death, I would go to my father;
If I were life, I would flee from him;
The same would I do with my mother.
If I were Cecco, as I am and I was,
I would take all the women who are young and lovely
And leave all the old and ugly for others.
S'i' fosse foco, arderei 'l mondo;
s'i' fosse vento, lo tempesterei;
s'i' fosse acqua, i' l'annegherei;
s'i' fosse Dio, mandereil' en profondo;
s'i' fosse Papa, allor sarei giocondo,
che` tutti cristiani 'mbrigarei;
s'i' fosse 'mperator, ben lo farei:
a tutti taglierei lo capo a tondo.
S'i' fosse morte, andarei a mi' padre;
s'i' fosse vita, non starei con lui:
similmente faria con mi' madre.
S'i' fosse Cecco, com'i' sono e fui,
torrei le donne giovani e leggiadre:
le zoppe e vecchie lasserei altrui.