David X Novak
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Gorsuch Goes to the Theater

4/15/2017

 

The Silver Fox went with his wife
    To hear Don Juan or Carmen;
The packed house overflowed with life,
    Rich couples gay and charming.

Alas, the show had been sold out,
    He could not get a ticket,
But Neil knew that—with proper clout— 
    He had the means to nick it.

Off in an alcove he espied
    His buddy Mitch McConnell,
Who counseled, theft is justified
    When neither brains nor brawn’ll

Achieve the end that you desire— 
    The orchestra was tuning— 
And Mitch said, “I’ve a seat for hire,
    The price, some small impugning.

“The ticket holder is delayed,
    His rightful way prevented:
My boys are forming a blockade,
    Don’t look at me demented.

“Now hurry up and take his seat,
    They’re set to raise the curtain,
The show is starting; he is beat,
    Of that you can be certain.”

“Gosh, thank you, Mitch,” Neil Gorsuch said,
    “You’ve been a real lifesaver:
You or your crew, don’t be afraid
    To ask me any favor.”

The Silver Fox, in his repose,
    Leaned back, began to hum,
And music filled, as curtain rose,
    The auditorium.

Out in the lobby, there’s a scene,
    It sounds just like a scuffle,
But Mitch’s boys will intervene,
    And keep sounds of kerfuffle

From penetrating in that hall
    Where somber notes are heard,
Darkness prevailing over all
    As human hearts are stirred.

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