I’m a sophisticated rube,
You see my shirt is flannel,
But I can play a Rubik’s Cube,
Or sit upon a panel
As squeezes bullshit from a tube—
My name is Mitch McConnell.
The “single most important aim”
I ever held in life
Was block Obama, and inflame
Hatred of him and wife
So that I might win at the game
Of paper, scissors, knife.
I said that he was foreign born
Or said she was a monkey,
Both Muslims, and deserving scorn
(My dory felt so hunky)
And so I blew my party horn
As likewise did each flunky.
Haha! We got old Gorsuch in
Albeit by destroying
Senate due process—win win win!
You’ll find such winning cloying,
Democracy to the dust bin
Tossed while I was enjoying.
It’s power I loved most of all,
Obstructing truth to get it;
If God loved glory I loved gall,
I saw the chomp, and bit it;
And if my country had to fall,
I’m proud ’twas I who split it.
I’m a sophisticated rube,
Decked out in country flannel,
And scare each nincompoop and boob
With words such as “death panel,”
As citizens ask for more lube
And I am Mitch McConnell.
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