“I didn’t come to Washington to hurt people.” (Senator Shelley Moore Capito)
(To hear a colleague speak that way!)—
Oh, I was once idealist,
Do-gooder fancies in my head,
But I have learned to slam my fist—
Else I my rightful calling missed.”
This is what Mitch McConnell said.
“ ‘First do no harm’ —the doctors’ oath!
To be ‘benevolent’ I’m loath,
For I have learned, to get things done
You have to see the color red—
Blood from opponents being drawn
Is why I came to Washington.”
And this is what Mitch McConnell said.
“Power I love, and it pursue,
The only love to which I’m true,
For which one must accumulate
The spoils for which no man has pled:
Rather a man must take. I hate
The kind that likes to stand and wait.”
And this is what Mitch McConnell said.
“A pyrrhic victory suits me fine,
Triumphal profits claiming mine,
And if I have to sacrifice
A thousand souls, I sleep in bed
Not worrying about the vice
Of seeming someone not too nice!”
And this is what Mitch McConnell said.
“To gain my ends I will employ
All sorts of tricks—and I enjoy
When sacrificial victims squirm
That should have been like me instead,
Ruthless. I’ll step on any worm,
But let my lust mature full-term.”
And this is what Mitch McConnell said.
“Should any good man cross my path
He’s sure to feel McConnell’s wrath—
Slander, obstruct, I’ll even lie,
His reputation so to shred,
For ‘honor’ I do not deny
But hoard as much as I can buy.”
And this is what Mitch McConnell said.
“I came upon Obama once,
And felt right off he was a dunce,
Pursuing ‘nobler’ aims before
The sugar profits in my head:
Against him I waged mortal war
And all my party knows the score.”
This is what Mitch McConnell said.
“Republicans are not naive—
In scorched-earth tactics we believe,
Though peace, prosperity be wrecked:
My avaricious maw being fed,
My pecking order must get pecked,
Though fools fail the dots to connect.”
And this is what Mitch McConnell said.
“You live once! Let the USA
Go down the tubes: I’ve had my day,
The only thing that matters really
To men as have from conscience fled—
These are Republicans. Ideally
It shouldn’t be, but don’t be silly.”
And this is what Mitch McConnell said.