David X Novak
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Senator Flake Absolves Himself

8/1/2017

 

The other snowflakes made this blizzard,
The way they gerrymandered, scissored
Malicious facts into a lie:
My party did this, but not I.

The way they slandered and defamed,
Racial intolerance inflamed,
Polluted air and ocean shelf:
My party did it, not myself.


The way they posed like priests Levitical,
Their “family values” hypocritical
In locker rooms and bathroom stalls:
My party, not myself, was false.

When voting rights they sabotaged,
Or bid the vote be “espionaged,”
My party had pragmatic reasons,
It was not I, inviting treasons.

We called those who opposed the war
Anti-American, and more,
“Traitors,” slave to their “liberal” cause
(But I thought malice ought to pause).


We stood for nothing but obstruct,
Ingrained tradition gladly bucked
To slip a ringer on the Court— 
Yes, I may have a little wart.

Acknowledged my complicity,
I yet maintain it wee wee wee,
My party, too, that harbors fault
We must take with a grain of salt.

Do not suggest we should be strung,
Burned in our holes, buried with dung:
Our country ruined, yet pardon us,
We though our malice virtuous.


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