Liked to cast dirt
As a moral preacher,
But before did
Something sordid
When he was a teacher.
Once a nasty
Pederast, he
Went down to the Wal-mart,
Thought, “I shall use
Family values
To become a stalwart.
“Okie-dokie
Here’s a cloakie,
Quite Republicanny:
Wearing virtue
Facts can’t hurt you,
Truth can’t claim a cranny.”
That and funny
(Hush hush) money
Kept perhaps a victim
From accusing
That abusing
Was how Hastert dicked him.