David X Novak
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The Devil’s Triangle: McConnell, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh

10/6/2018

 


​1. First Devil: Mitch McConnell

The voters chose to “switch to Mitch,”
Kentucky likes that kind of flam.
Who chose to make the Court his bitch?
You can when you have struck it rich,
And Mitch is rich, so “Thank you, Ma’am.”
The voters chose to “switch to Mitch”
And even though he pulled a switch
(A bait and switch) who gives a damn?
Who chose to make the Court his bitch?
The voters did: there was no glitch,
They love his wealth, approve his scam:
The voters chose to “switch to Mitch.”
What he has sworn went to the ditch:
Support? Defend? Not his program!
Who chose to make the Court his bitch?
McConnell did, so worked to stitch
Collusion’s web—yippee! Grand slam!
The voters chose to “switch to Mitch”
Who chose to make the Court his bitch.


​2. Second Devil: Neil Gorsuch

His was no brilliant legal mind
But adequate (if dull) was Neil’s— 
In ethics he fell far behind.
Law school is tough, the bar’s unkind,
But since he was the kind that steals....
His was no brilliant legal mind
But, bending, he some way could find
Even the way an orange unpeels.
In ethics he fell far behind
But a friend who the rules maligned
Figured a cheat, and turned the wheels.
His was no brilliant legal mind
But Gorsuch knew that men were blind
To subtle thefts, and backroom deals.
In ethics he fell far behind,
But when his buddy’s tricks aligned
He leapfrogged those who had ideals.
His was no brilliant legal mind:
In ethics he fell far behind.


​3. Third Devil: Brett Kavanaugh

He was (they said) a sloppy drunk,
But had connections hard-to-get;
Skin lily-white, a wealthy punk
He claimed it put him in a funk
To be traduced. Yet pouty Brett,
He was (they said) a sloppy drunk
And it was proven, so with spunk
He railed against the sobriquet:
Skin lily-white, a wealthy punk,
He said, “That reputation’s bunk;
My soul is white.” His eyes were wet.
He was (they said) a sloppy drunk
Who, at a party, whipped his junk
In a girl’s face, and jacked it yet.
Skin lily-white, a wealthy punk,
He lied, but lies did not see sunk
His hopes—lies gained his coronet.
He was (they said) a sloppy drunk,
Skin lily-white, a wealthy punk.

Note: parts 1 & 2 were posted previously here and here; part 3 just moments ago today.

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